Yesterday was Day 3

Well, yesterday was day 3 of my new cycle (and my birthday! :) Happy Birthday to me, right? Ha! I went on into the office yesterday morning and had my blood drawn again for my FSH level. We got report that Eric's sperm analysis came back and all was normal. We also got results from my day 21 level (the progesterone), and it showed that I had ovulated, which I completely suspected. So... now we wait for this FSH level to come back and then wait for our fertility doctor appointment in a few weeks or move forward with anything else Dr. M may want to order or perscribe... it's a waiting game and it's no fun! BUT- I know that God has a plan for my life and for Eric and my future. I have read a book called 'Baby Hunger: Biblical encouragement for those struggling with infertility' and it has been SUCH an encouragement and inspiration. There are so many stories throughout the Bible (some you may have heard and others maybe not) about women who so desperately wanted a child, they would do anything... and they did. I can't imagine that, but I know sometimes God's answer to our plea is WAIT. As I wait, I struggle daily, moment by moment, with patience, questioning why and having faith that God will and does provide on HIS time table. So... here we wait....

Day 21

Well, today was day 21 of my cycle. I made it to the doctor's office to have my blood drawn. This is for the progesterone level. I wasn't able to go in for the day 3 level because we were at the beach, but I figured I'd go ahead and get this one done and see what it says. I should get some results either late this afternoon or tomorrow. I also had the office fax my records to the fertility doctor's office. Speaking of... Eric is going there Friday for his test. We are going together and hopefully everything is ok with him and we will know those results soon after, I am hoping. I made my appointment with the fertility doctor (Dr. B)- and it's scheduled for a month from today- October 4! I can't wait! I am so ready to get things going and tests/procedures started! I finally feel like things are beginning to look up, maybe...

Destin 2012

We packed up and were beach bound the middle of August! Not only were we packed up, but we were crammed packed! We took my jeep down to Florida- not just us, but my sister and her boyfriend too- my jeep grand cherokee! Wowzers!! That was some packing! And thank heavens for my friend, Lauren's parents... they let us borrow one of those carriers for the top of the car. Otherwise, there would have been no way we could've made it! Our friends Chris and Kelly came with us too- they drove their own car though! :) We left early, early and arrived around 1pm. The fresh smell of salt, sand and seafood was just what I needed for a week away! Here are some of our pics! Enjoy!

These a just a tiny HANDFUL of all this pics I took, but I don't have the time to upload all. We had a wonderful trip, despite a few mishaps with the condo- where we will NEVER stay again, but all in all, it was great! And we miss the beach already and can't wait for next trip! :)

Our First Doctor's Appointment

Well, the first scheduled appointment to move forward on our journey to becomming parents was July 19th. (first official appointment- we have been trying to conceive since last July- became pregnant in October and miscarried soon after- read my post from earlier- 'June 23, 2010'). It was really nothing special, to me, but a step forward I guess. I was really hoping for more aggressive treatment to begin with, but I know my doctor (Dr. M) was looking out for us finacially the most- which is nice. Since I am such a "normal" woman, I ovulate regularly (same day each month) and I don't seem to have any other problems, and the fact that I have gotten pregnant in the past, my docotor didn't want to put me on any kind of fertility meds at this time. Fertility drugs can increase your risk for multiples as well as losing a pregnancy too. Dr. M basicially at this time, wants me to come in and have some blood work drawn on my next cycle (which has been a bit of a hassle, considering it's been on a weekend and then my vacation week since we've been to see her.) The blood work she is testing is a Day 3 FSH level- which is the follicle stimulating hormone. The FSH helps control the cycle and the production of the eggs. The amount varies throughout a woman's cycle, but is at it's highest right before release of the egg (ovulation.) This level can help in finding infertility cause. Then she also wants a Day 21 Progesterone level. This test will show if I have enough progesterone in my body- which is produced during the release of an egg. It helps prepare the lining of the uterus to recieve the egg and become fertilized. This level will help assess infertility, whether ovulation is occuring (which I get positive OPK tests every single month, and the risk of miscarriage, should I become pregnant.) (I am sure once I do, I will have progesterone levels monitored for a while at the beginning of the pregnancy- I am thinking this could have been what caused my last loss- but who knows... it's just my guess.) Dr. M also wants Eric to go in for a semen analysis, which is the first medical step in male infertility. I know, not fun! He really doesn't want to do this, nor do I want him to, but we both know it's for the best in finding out what the cause is for me not getting pregnant again. If all these come back "normal", I think the next step will be a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is a X-Ray test that looks inside the uterus and fallopian tubes with a contrast dye to be sure there are no blockages and that the tubes are open. It will show that the uterus is of normal shape and there is no kind of blockages (adhesions, polyps, fibroids) that could prevent someone from becomming pregnant as well as losing a pregnancy. As I write this, it has now been a month since we've seen Dr. M. Still nothing has been done in taking steps forawrd since our appointment. (because of my crazy periods wanting to come on a weekend and my vacation, while away, therefore, I can't go to the doctor's office.) So, today, I am calling to make my first appointment with Fertility Associates of Memphis (the one and only fertility specialist in Memphis.) I am a little nervous about doing so, but I have many friends who have made the step already and are "getting the ball moving a lot faster" this way. This will be the docotor's office Eric goes to as well for his testing, which we will be scheduling soon (working around his work schedule to get in). Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we travel this road of becoming parents. We both appreciate it more than you know. And I will keep you updated as things progress. If all this comes back "normal"

Lake Trip 2012

Well, our annual Lake of the Ozarks trip came at the beginning of July. We traveled up on a Sunday morning and stayed an entire week, and came home on the following Saturday. We even made a pass through MO town to see Eric's parents for a few hours. Bella made the trip with us too, as usual- she LOVED the water this year! We had such a great week- Matt and Stephanie even came with us this year! It was so fun to have them there too! The week was HOTT and HOTTER! It was hard to even stay out of the water- 100's ALL week long! We spent most of our time on the lake, in the water... we went shopping one afternoon to the outlet malls, Matt and Eric went and played golf this day, somehow, I don't know- it was way too hot! We had some yummy out to eat foods as well as home cooked meals too! We spent our 4th of July holiday at the lake too! It was neat to spend this holiday at the lake- lots of pretty fireworks were shared! Enjoy a few of my pics!

First night at the lake- at Coconut's for dinner

Eric found a Mizzou chair! We so wanted to buy it, but it was $350! Wow, no thanks!

The family staying next to our house bought this huge trampoline float thing for the water- the kids loved it! Eric and I even played on it too for a bit! :)

After a long day outside, the boys are watching some MLB on the computer! ha!

Bella loves her Daddy!

Lovey and Me on the lake

The Ledbetter's and Shirkey's

Us with the sweet Howse's... we just love them!

All the guys and the pups... watching fireworks on the 4th

Kiddos

Melissa's yummy 4th of July cake

The pups- minus Nixie

Kristy's Birthday Bash!

Back when we were looking at houses, the day that Kristy went looking with me, and we came upon our house, she told me that this house was going to be it. And that later on, come June, she was going to have her birthday party here- well she did! We organized a sweet, fun party. We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and had some snacks to go with it. We had a yummy birthday cake too! Kristy invited her close friends over and we had a great turnout! Here are some pictures from her fun party!

Kristy's Birthday Table

Sweet Friends

Kasey got her a Pandora bracelet started! She was so excited!

Our Family

Sisters

Best Friends- Moms & Daughters

BIL & SIL

Kristy and her Granny & Uncle

Girlfriends

June 23, 2012

June 23, 2012... a date that will always hold a special place in my heart- the day our sweet baby was suppose to be born. As I said in my last post, this past Mother's Day was a little difficult for me. Back in October, we found out we were pregnant! (this was on a Sunday night)I was so excited, I couldn't believe it! I was getting ready for bed, took a bath and decided I'd just take a test- it was positive! I wanted to run in the next room and shout it to Eric, but I knew I had something special for him for when that time came, so I waited. I quickly bathed and went and found my perfect surprise for him. Since we were living in an apartment at this time, we had seperate bathrooms, so I went and displayed the willow tree figurine of the dad holding a baby, a picture frame that said 'Daddy and Me' and the positive pregnancy test with a little note beside it. This was the night of one of the play-off Cardinal games, so Eric was glued to the T.V. until it was over. Finally around 10:30 he came on to bed.. and of course, I had to wait up on him to see his expression! Can you imagine how excited we were!? I couldn't stop thinking about names, baby furniture, how I would decorate a nursery and the list goes on...We had already told some of our closest friends and actually had our parents and my sister over for dinner the following Saturday to share the exciting news! But, then just hours later, we woke up for church and I knew something wasn't right. I was having some bleeding. I knew this couldn't be good or normal. I was very upset and told Eric about it. He insisted we go on to church, so we did. We didn't make it to Sunday School, because I could tell something just wasn't right and I was continuing to bleed pretty bad. We went home and I just cried. I didn't eat, I didn't do anything, but lay in bed and think "why- is this really happening to me, maybe I am just having some early pregnancy bleeding, maybe everything will still be ok." But I knew better. I called the doctor on our L&D unit that is there all the time and shared what was going on. He told me to just wait it out and call to make an appointment with my dr. the following morning. So that's what I did. I am so thankful Eric was home with me on that Sunday morning. He was suppose to work, but had swapped his days so he could be here with his parents in town. The Lord knew all along that I was going to need his support that day, and boy did he do a good job! I am so thankful to have such a Godly, caring and thoughtful husband. I went in that Monday morning. Eric went with me. We had some blood drawn and we left. I was to follow up in a couple of days for repeat blood work, but they assumed I had miscarried and told me what to expect. So I stayed home for a few days... I wasn't really up for much of anything. I remember on that night, Eric was doing something late for work and wasn't home so my mom and sister came over and brought me my favorite food- Newk's! Kristy brought me some pretty flowers and the sweetest card! I spent the next day or so at home and finally went back to the dr. I believe on that Wednesday. Thursday I was ready to get out of the house and start over... I started it off with breakfast with sweet friends, Whitney and Laine and we spent the day making some freezer meals for the afternoon. I went back to work on Friday, and boy, was that hard! Being around pregnant women all day... That was our short journey through pregnancy... I know our baby was very short lived and I wasn't far along at all, but I still had a baby and was still pregnant, so the loss hurt like any loss would. I think about how things would be now if I had carried that baby. We would be at home with about a month old baby boy or girl at this time... oh how hard it is. I know God has a plan for Eric and me. I know it's going to be grand! He has blessed us so much already and I know he's not giving up on us. I can't wait to see when and what, but for now, patience is my constant prayer. I hope you have enjoyed reading my post, sharing in happiness and sorrow with me- it seems just like yesterday all this happened. I remember so vividly all the details. Please continue to pray for us as we walk this long, hard journey... (We actually go to the dr. this week to begin some counseling with my OB-GYN in order to take the next step- I will fill you in once that appointment comes)