It's just plain hard.

It's just plain hard. That's all there is to say. This post is deep down, real.

Today I was in the car with one of my best friends, driving and talking. We got to talking about doctors appointments, which led to us talking about her baby growing inside her belly. The words "so, are you feeling the baby move around now?" came out of my mouth. I was curious and I do care. She grinningly nodded her head yes. Luckily I had sunglasses on to hide my instant tear-filled eyes. I felt an immediate lump in my throat and a brief moment of silence. We quickly changed the subject and I was glad. She knows how difficult this is for me because I've told her I knew it would be, and she was understanding of that.
We were due just 2 weeks apart. I lost my baby. My second lost baby. I try so hard to have a happy heart, but I am human. Those feelings that I tell myself aren't allowed in my head and heart still happen. Sometimes I feel as if I'm putting on a mask. That's not fair to my friend or her baby. It's so hard to understand. I just don't get it... It's just plain hard.


A link to an article I read tonight... 11 ways to support your infertile friends
Great read!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heather-huhman/11-ways-to-support-your-infertile-friends-during-world-infertility-awareness-month-and-always_b_7479568.html?utm_hp_ref=tw