Just a year ago

Wow- its hard to believe that at this time last year, I was announcing to my husband we were going to be a mommy and daddy! I surprised him so good! Just like I had always imagined. I remember it all so vividly. We were so excited and couldn't even sleep! We just kept talking about how things would be and how we would tell our families. Our excitement didn't last long- our little baby was taken so soon afterwards.
I know some people may say, "well she wasn't even that far along..."- well I've got news for them. That was our baby, it was a baby even for just a short time. I felt a connection immediately to my sweet baby only for that connection to be lost so quickly. Eric did what he could to calm me and support and encourage me through the days and weeks that came. People don't understand the slightest bit until they've lived it personally.
I have such a deep desire to be a Mommy to a sweet, innocent child. I truly feel like it is part of my calling in life as a woman. I know God has called me to have a child (somehow) ;)
I know God has a plan for me- whether it's my own biological child or not- I know one day I will get the honor and privilege of holding my sweet baby and I know it will be so much more meaningful. I know I will appreciate the wait, as difficult as it is now. I will be ever so grateful and I know that unborn child will be more of a blessing then than we can imagine now.
I'm still very saddened thinking of what could have been and the baby we should have in our home now. However, I'm joyful in the fact that God is still writing my story and I know the end is going to be amazing!

The charm in the center of my bracelet I bought yesterday mostly for the remembrance of my baby. But also for National Pregnancy Loss and Infant Awareness Day that was yesterday. I thought what more of a perfect time than now!

I will never forget...